You can blame Stop. I certainly do.

Similarly, improvisation is an ability that I (and I mean this quite literally) work hard at. The trouble is, while I’m quite good at practicing improvisation in a safe atmosphere- trying different things in a video game, working on a boat that will have me as its only passenger, cooking up a storm in the kitchen- in unsafe atmospheres (and let’s be clear here, only I can define ‘safe’ and ‘unsafe’ according to the dictates of my somewhat quirky brain), improvisation causes me no end of stress (driving while under a time constraint, for example).

It gets even worse when I’m improvising with limited knowledge of what I refer to as the ‘rules of engagement’ for a given setting. In the kitchen, I know, through long and sometimes heavily burnt experience, the effects of adding things to my recipes, modifying cooking times, et cetera. I have a working knowledge of the rules of engagement. Without that knowledge, any improvisation I attempt is at best nervous guesswork and at worst, spastic, panic-ridden, freakishly-flailing attempts to confine my failure to sub-cataclysmic levels.

These three concepts intersect quite neatly in the arena of social interaction—see them, right there at that point labelled ‘abject terror’?

I have only minor knowledge of the rules of engagement for social settings. It’s my own fault to some degree—I made a conscious choice to focus on other things whilst my peers were perfecting the niceties and graces—but that lack of knowledge means that for the purposes of improvisation, most social settings are classified “Decidedly Unsafe – Please Watch Your Step”.

And that’s where we come to the meat of this little diatribe. Social interaction has rules for everything. Informal social interaction I can deal with. Hey, no problem, these people are my friends! They’ll forgive any minor faux pas that come up, and they’ll almost certainly give me time to explain before they take offense.

Formal social interaction? I believe you’ll find that on the map at the point labelled “Here There Be Hungry, Steroid-Using, Girlfriend-Just-Broke-Up-With-Me-Level-of-Anger Dragons”.

Formal social interaction terrifies and confuses me. There are- I know it- many, many rules. I don’t know what all of them are, but I know they exist. Do you know how I know you start with the outer dinnerware and work your way inwards as the dinner continues? I know because I set out and studied it through mortal dread that I would break a rule of cutlery. A rule of cutlery, ladies and gentlemen, this is the level we’ve sunk to. And that’s in the area of formal dining, which I have studied. Other formal social interaction- dancing, for example, or heaven forbid black-tie parties- are beyond me.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is that if I turn green and look at you cross-eyed when you invite me to your social event, I am still fully conscious of the honor you are doing me by extending the invitation, okay?

Uploaded at the request of a friend.

Alas, that domain name is no longer mine, as I use this one instead. Twice alas, that is no longer possible (the short version of the explanation is “blizzard changed the game”).

Elf, Magic-User Melvarian the Severe considers those who do not spend as much time as himself in study and contemplation to be flighty and, to some degree, beneath him. Unfortunately, as he spends the vast majority of his time in the study of the arcane, this encompasses practically everyone. This unwelcoming attitude is not helped by his spare features and neatly-trimmed blonde hair, nor his typically dry tones. Plain robes in dark colors confirm the initial impression of academic severity.

Elf Magic-User/Thief Jessmyn Kross, thanks to Kieran.

Half-Elf Druid Sevan Petrosian, thanks to Emmy.
Half-Elf  Cleric/Fighter River Gantenbaine, thanks to Stop.
Human Monk Kosal, thanks to Kat.

Human Paladin Lochal Tyrshand has his graying brown hair tied back in a neat pony-tail. Coming from a devout family of clerics and paladins, and with forty-five years of dedicated service to Tyr under his belt, Lochal’s face is still cheerful, and his body is solidly muscled. Service for him is no hardship, but the culmination of his family’s hopes.

Dwarf Fighter Ella Stonehelm looks very much like her twin, the

Dwarf Fighter Pella Stonehelm. The typical idea of “dwarven soldier” fits here; fiery red pigtails protrude out from under metal helmets with matching chainmail. Each twin carries a battleaxe nearly her own height, and each is as ready to use them as the red hair suggests. Those dealing with the twins would do well to keep in mind that their smiling, freckled faces and green eyes mask the traditional dwarfish philosophy: “Just keep chopping until you’re face to face.”

 
Halfling Thief Aert, thanks to A Two-Bit Jeremiah.

Gnome Thief Liry “Nibbles” Nibowictz has something to prove to anyone who stands more than three feet tall. He has the typical pure-white hair of his kind, and his age could be anywhere from 20 to 400; with gnomes, it’s very hard to tell. He’s probably no older than that; certainly he moves quickly enough. Nibbles rarely sits still unless he’s hiding, and even then he conveys the impression that he’s just waiting for the opportunity to move quickly again. Sarcastic and always laughing, the only thing faster than his tongue is his fingers, and his love for puns is rivalled only by his very acquisitive nature.

Either tomorrow or Friday, we will have plot hooks! Stay tuned!

Sorry for both the delay and the lack of shaving post.

First, you may notice (if you visit the site directly) that the Blog Azeroth image no longer appears on my sidebar. While the Blog Azeroth people are fun to hang around with- and while I can trace my chatting back through something like fourteen months and four incarnations of the official chat room- the solid fact of the matter is that I don’t play World of Warcraft any more; I haven’t played the online game in six months, and the card game is being ended. (For those of you who read my article on the card game… eh… it’s never going to get finished. There doesn’t seem much point, as the game is going out of print in a week.)

Now, I needed something to put in place of that logo, and frankly I needed to update my blogroll (and have for, oh, six months, when I removed all the WoW blogs I wasn’t reading any more  – or at least, that I was reading for their non-WoW content).

Ladies and gentlemen, the inhabitants of my blogroll as of today:

http://www.clockworkhare.com/
Clockwork Hare, home of Pikestaff. Pike is a fellow Azeroth Expatriate. Pike is also a fellow Redwall fan. Pike is a fellow Linux user. Ex-fellow? However you would put “We both used Linux for years but I have been too lazy to overwrite Windows 7 on my new laptop, whilst Pike still uses Linux”. Her blog has (deservedly) always been more popular than mine, so here I am yet again driving up traffic to her (new) blog, which, like mine, now has nothing really to do with Warcraft. Look at Llanion plug. Plug, Llanion, plug.

http://kestrelsaerie.us/

On the topic of “People that do the things I do far better than I do them”, I would be remiss if I did not mention Kestrel, Writer Extraordinaire. Whilst I have managed to dilute my interests to the point where my writing abilities are something akin to a rough-hewn tree-branch club, Kestrel has honed his to a razor edge.

http://tamimoore.com/blog/

In another category of “doing the things I do”, Tami is a writer, cook, Warcrafter and artist (I don’t do art, but I could take a shot at holding my own in the other categories). Tami ran across me through, as I understand it, mutual Azerothian friends and a Tweet about butterscotch pudding. She was suckered into reading this blog via my pancake recipe; I always knew that recipe would be good for something, though I was figuring more along the lines of ‘delicious breakfasts’ and less along the lines of ‘introducing the perfect people to give me inferiority complexes’.

http://www.lady-jess.com/

Speaking of the perfect people to give me inferiority complexes, Jess manages to juggle a lot of things, not least of which is the ability to reduce Dragon Age to a set of statistics to make any RPG completionist weep. This is me, weeping. She also does this while staunchly claiming not to be a gamer. I just do not understand it.

http://www.thestoppableforce.net/

Stop, on the other hand, makes no claims whatsoever about not being a gamer. As a Re-Warcrafter, having quit the game and returned to it later, he pwnz0rs the n00blets with his l33t deeps, or however that goes. I’ve been out of touch for six months, which is forever in internet time, and about twice the age of the universe in Warcraft Patch Changes time. This is one of those mainly-WoW-centric blogs that I read for the personality rather than the Warcraft stuff.

http://wildhermit.blogspot.com/

Finally, and with no tidy segue, we have Wildhermit, who I met through WoW, who I hope to spend the occasional casual moment with on FFXIV if and when it’s ever released, and who was no small factor in encouraging me to get into tabletop gaming. He makes it look like so much fun; I just wish he had an update more recent than October. Wherever you are, Wild, may your bags be full of fish.

Anyone who’s played the classic 1995 Super Nintendo RPG Chrono Trigger will recognize the image above. (Anyone who hasn’t played that particular game… shame on you. So much shame. The original is hard to find, but there’s a Nintendo DS port (yes, port, not remake) available and you should play it, as it is ranked by many, myself included, as one of the best games ever made).

Anyway. The picture. The picture is of the Free Lancer, an enemy found midway through the game. In theory, it’s a mercenary, doing whatever comes to hand to pay the bills.

I, myself, am sharing that occupation- in addition to my paid part-time work, I’ve started my own business selling baked goods and I’m freelancing, doing some image-processing work. I have no idea where either track will go… but, for the moment, it’s bringing in some currency and keeping me on my toes. Unfortunately, it’s cutting into my blogging time to no small degree.

Available topics that I should probably finish writing posts on are:

• Bunnybraü
• Shave Safe (and how to get started)
• Nostalgia Advance
• Steampunk Mechwarriors Ahoy

And various and sundry others. The problem I’m having, alas, is that I can never nail down enough time to write the posts. I’ll get there eventually.

And, as the title says, life’s still an adventure.

So, as I’ve blogged about previously, I shave with a double-edged safety razor. Yes, it’s old-school. Learning about it was no small chore, since I could only find one site (the Art of Manliness) that had anything on the subject.

Then I found Badger & Blade. B&B is the forum community for this sort of thing. They have every piece of information you could ever want- and if the information you want isn’t already up, a quick question will probably bring it. From how to build a lather with shaving soap, to a wiki, to their own custom shaving brushes, you can find everything there.

And friendly. The people are unfailingly and unwaveringly polite, courteous, and helpful. (Actually, after some of the online communities I’ve been in *warcraft forums cough hack cough*, it’s incredibly refreshing.)

So, yes, if you’re interested in double-edged razors, check out http://www.badgerandblade.com/ for more (even if you don’t have a DE razor, and are just interested, it’s a worthwhile link to check out).

Any PC gamer should know (and love) the above link. It takes you to the homepage of Steam.

What is Steam, I hear you asking? It’s a content-delivery, collection-management and social network for games. Let me back up and come at that again- it combines the best features of an instant messenger and blogs- it even includes an overlay that lets you use instant messaging while in-game, even full-screen games. It provides a central repository from which you can launch your games (and, if your friends have the same multiplayer games you do, it provides a shortcut to joining them in-game). Finally, it provides a store.

There’s a great variety of games on Steam (and, once you buy them, they lock to your Steam account- if you set up a new computer, you can simply install the Steam client, log in, and download all your purchased games to that computer).

When I say a great variety, I mean specifically “Hey, you can get old games here that are impossible to find!” King’s Quest, as an example. You can also get new games (Bioshock 2, as an additional example). Finally, you can gift games to friends (which is how I got Bioshock 2, from a friend).

Basically, it’s a great piece of software (it runs on Linux, too, with Wine), and I highly recommend it. (Also: They periodically have sales; Bioshock 1 cost me all of $5 this past New Year’s)

If you’re on Steam already, please, drop in and say hello (my Steam profile is linked to on my sidebar). If you’re not… drop in! Try a game or two! Say hi!

Be sure to stop in on Monday for “Tiny Knives and Angry Forest Creatures: The Best Internet Community Ever”

That said, however, there’s one point where the game can fall down, and that’s in its AI. Your computerized teammates are, by default, on average slightly less intelligent than the surrounding scenery, with what seems to be a budding suicide urge, as the archers put their bow away, pull out their daggers, and charge into melee, while the casters break out of their very effective and expensive shapeshifted form to cast Feeble Poke of Mild Annoyance at the giant boss monster.

Fortunately, there’s a way to avoid this scenario, and all its attendant frustrations: Tactics.

The game makes a big point of tutorializing your first brush with the tactics screen, and it is constantly clamoring for your attention with the loading-screen tips, but for all that I found it fairly dry reading. Then I started my second run through the game- with a mage instead of a melee rogue- and it suddenly became much more important to coordinate my party members (particularly the tank, as I could no longer afford to draw attention to myself and rely on stuns to escape).

So, let me draw your attention to Fig. 1a: The Tank’s Tactics Screen.

First: Shale (my party’s tank) has Self: Any; Activate: Stoneheart. Then, Self: Any; Activate: Threaten.

Next, he has Enemy: Attacking Main Character; Attack.

Self: Surrounded by at least three enemies; Bellow.

Finally, he has Ally: Being attacked by a melee attack; Taunt.

His behaviour (top righthand corner) is set to Default.

So what does this mean? In combat, what will Shale do? Well, tactics process from top to bottom. So, first, always, if Threaten or Stoneheart (his ‘tanking’ abilities) are down, he activates them. After that, he fights as normal, picking his targets based on (as a rule) either who is attacking him or who is closest. This all stops if some vile thug dares to attack my main character- that person then becomes the priority for all Shale’s attacks.

If there are at least three enemies near Shale (this tends to happen fairly often, as he charges in ahead of the others), he will Bellow. Finally, if someone is attacking one of my other characters in melee (not ranged- this is important), he taunts the attacker.

So that’s Shale. What about my other characters?

On this save file, I had my main character as my healer (which is why Shale is so fanatically dedicated to stomping flat anything that dared touch him in any way). Although healer tactics are settable, my RPG experiences leave me twitchy at the idea of leaving all the healing up to someone else, be it another player or AI, so that was always my controlled character. This was important in the tactics for the others, as seen below:

This is Alistair’s tactics screen (my third character, Leliana, had an identical screen, with the addition of Self: Any; Song of Courage).

Alistair’s tactics are incredibly simple: Whenever there’s an enemy, switch to your ranged weapon; always have Aim activated; and select, as his target, whoever the main character has targetted. Between the offensive magic of my main character and the two archers, the focus-fire was intense (and deadly).

Notice that Alistair’s behaviour is set to Ranged; in combat, he will always prefer to remain away from enemies where possible. This is devoutly to be wished of archers and most mages.

I have little doubt I’m going to get poked and told to give examples of tactics for melee fighters but, for the moment, I have none; my playstyle involves keeping people away from the enemies.

Be sure to tune in on Thursday for “Not Really Retro: Steam-Powered Gaming”!